wish i was invisible rather than invincible
January 9, 2008 0
T’s something about an inconvenient truth of the past that I neither treasure nor regret. It was a mistake after another mistake and a lesson after that…
I was wild and I kindled my freedom. So free, so arrogant, so young and so stubborn I was. I never thought of the future because I felt that the future was the one I was holding on. It didn’t make sense ’til a few minutes ago because somehow I know it must have hurt him…
I love him.
Wish it was enough to assure him… but I know it wouldn’t be enough.. I can see clearly how his smile faded when I told him.. but I knew it was time to tell him..
If he love me.. he’ll understand…
I love him and I don’t want to lose him now…
IT doesn’t make me less of a person, I guess… and I hope it wouldn’t make him love me less.. I hope he’ll love me more… because I’ve learned…
Darn.. I never knew falling in love was this hard. help me. teach me.
I must have traded completely my freedom for this… nobody warned me it would fall to this. why didn’t anyone tell me it would be a complete surrender?
I only asked to unnumb my heart.
I thought for a while I was invincible… but the truth made me wish I was invisible.. ashamed. felt scrutinized. a bit jaded.
Please just love me… forget what I just said… forget……..
I love you Pooh… please just love me too..
Thanks!,