December 9, 2007
…i miss the rain
it used to be my solace, concealer of my tears and the friend i never had.. the rain listened to me and my heart when nobody else did
..probably the rain knew I can handle it.
It’s dawning on me now and I despise the feeling.. not scared at all to fall, just scared of hitting the ground.
How would I know?
I don’t know, I don’t..
but one thing is certain
I love the feeling of waiting.. I’ve never reached this far before..
Rain.. just please come in my aid.. in case…
…… the waiting would last longer than I thought
Trinkets and sunsets Although I madly missed the lights, I still love the dark. In this way, I won’t be acting too much to please other people and I wouldn’t have to wear those heels that made my life sore. Amidst the freebies and friends I gained, I’m still happy for that once upon a time.
I disguised myself for confidence and I turned myself to somebody. It was awfully bizarre but that’s when I found who my true friends really are… friends that would stick with you when you chose to decline the light. I kept the photos and treasured my experiences for that field. I have learned a lot and though I wish to learn some more time has been so unkind to me. I just learned the art of setting priorities. Please don’t misjudge me as somebody I am not. I’ve kept my feet on the ground. I never actually took off.
I declined not because I find the set and the theme pathetic. I love it. I just don’t think I deserve it. I am not after the pay. I am after the experience and what you have is extremely beyond my reach. That’s something I am still learning at present. I have been off the hook for too long and I don’t know where and how to start. It wasn’t my intention to disappoint you. Pardon me for it. I come spontaneously at times and mostly in various forms. I am growing. I am learning. I think I still need that space. I want to find that confidence without concealing anything. I hope someday when all this comes comfortably at ease, count me in.
Thanks!,